I've shared in previous blogs that I've lost a lot of my family, especially when it comes to death. I've recently lost the majority of my family on my mom's side. Having already lost my mom, losing the rest of my connections to her was a whole different kind of grief... but that's for another blog.
My dad's family, on the other hand, has always been supportive, loving, and truly accepting. They are a wild bunch who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty and aren't shy about being exactly who they are. Growing up, I was raised to believe that my mom's side was "superior" in some way to my father's. I don't know why... maybe because mom's side had money and dad's didn't. Maybe because they kept their dirty laundry locked up and buried only to be covered by the appearance of wealth and "happiness" while my father's side wore their's like badges of honor. We Eginoires are damn proud of our scars because it means we fought and we survived.
I'm ashamed to say I didn't realize how amazing my dad's side of the family was until recent years. And it took my getting arrested for this realization to occur. I spent two and a half days in jail, crying out to God and weeping on the phone to my father about what a mess I had made. And I had no one who could afford to pay my bond. Well, that's not true... plenty of people had enough money to get me out, but only one did: My aunt Nancy. This was no small amount of money, and she paid it without question. The minute I found out she was getting me out I immediately fell to my knees and thanked God. I started writing out a prayer and found myself weeping again as I begged for forgiveness for my lack of appreciation for this side of my family.
When I walked out those doors and saw my aunt's loving face, I burst into tears. She just held me while I cried and thanked her. She even spent the next few nights with me at home so I felt safe. She was my angel and I don't think I'll ever be able to truly express my gratitude for what she did that week for me and even for my dogs.
I am getting a little ahead of myself here, but I just wanted to paint you a picture of this amazing woman first. My aunt Nancy married my uncle Mike (my dad's brother) when I was still very young. When she entered into our special little family, she brought her awesome daughter (my bitchin' cousin) along with her. I remember being jealous that my new cousin was older and closer to my other cousin's age lol. She still was cool and let me hang out with her though ;)
My uncle Mike was very special to me. He lived a difficult life that ended similarly to the way my mother's did, he even passed away on what would have been my mom's 58th birthday. He loved me so much. It was a love I couldn't comprehend because I never felt like I deserved it. I didn't go out of my way to spend time with him like I had with my grandpa. But he loved me still - like how God loves His children: unconditionally. I remember one Christmas, his gift to me was the family Bible. I have no idea how old it is or how many people have owned it, but he chose to pass it down to me. And it was one of the best presents I have ever received.
Now, at some point, you might be wondering why I titled this post "Uncle Nancy." Well, for a period of time, I didn't know which phone number belonged to my aunt Nancy or to my uncle because he would call me from both of them, so at one point I had like 3 different numbers for my uncle Mike and only one of them was actually his. After he passed away, I figured out which one was my aunt's. But instead of changing it to Aunt Nancy in my phone, I lovingly left the "Uncle" in there. So she will forever be my "Uncle Nancy" in my cell phone. 😊😊
Since the night my aunt brought me home from jail, our relationship has only grown. That night I asked for her forgiveness for being such a terrible niece and for not making more of an effort in my relationship with not only my uncle and her, but with my dad's entire family. I actually think I apologized twice that first night we got home. And she just kept responding that I was a perfect niece and that this is what family is for.
She is one of the first people I call or text when I need to vent. Even this very evening, at 9:30 at night, she let me drive over there and just talk and cry over the frustrations of living life in this chaotic world. We've had our girl movie nights. She almost always insists on cooking dinner or even just a snack for the two of us. When Chris and I went over there so he could mow her lawn, she made us dinner and I ended up taking Chris home and coming back for another 4 hours just to talk and watch some Netflix. Just a few weeks ago we ran out of gas on her side of town and she was there with a giant container of gasoline within minutes (I was having a lovely emotional breakdown at the time too and even then she just hugged me and let me cry).
She's a strong woman who's not afraid to tell you like it is, but she always makes sure it's said with love. She loved my uncle Mike and stood by his side until the end. And she loves me unconditionally... just like Uncle Mike did. She's been there for me and Chris, for my dad, for my other cousins... she is truly one of the kindest and most generous person I know. And I am so thankful for her.
So, to my "Uncle" Nancy: I love you so much and you've been such a blessing in my life. Every time I leave your house I feel like I've gotten a huge dose of love. You're unfailingly kind and generous, and my time with you means the world to me. One day I hope I can show you the same generosity and grace you've shown me. Like I said tonight, I know uncle Mike is so happy that we spend time together in the house you guys shared. I can hear him calling me "Bailey Bug" when I'm driving to or from your home too. Every time. I cherish each minute we spend with one another and I pray that we can pack in as many of those minutes as possible. Like I said in the beginning, every girl needs a cheerleader, a confidant, and genuine friend, and I have all of that in you, Aunt Nancy. Thank you for everything.
